Amazon.com is the Christmas shopping procrastinator’s best friend. A staple of last-minute shoppers everywhere, Amazon ships anything — including the kitchen sink — at lightening speed. Which raises the horrifying question: what if Amazon… didn’t exist??

The folks at George Mason University studied, researched, and theorized about the possibility. As the culmination of their efforts, they have released… a poem. Enjoy…

Amazon’s ability to deliver packages lickety-split, via overnight delivery services like FedEx and UPS, is enabled because back in the 1970s lawmakers made it easier to ship cargo via airplanes. This simple act of removing useless regulations has enabled entire industries to grow, creating jobs and opportunities around the world.

Ever enjoyed fresh seafood in, say, Des Moines? You can thank this same savvy move for that delicious dish too.

So way to go lawmaker-folk! Get rid of more regulations and not only enable awesome innovations and life-changing companies to grow but also watch more professors bend economic theory into poetic verse with childlike wonder.

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